Increasingly, consideration and discussion of consent have become part of the sexual experience. This ranges from a now mainstream practice of discussing the sexual boundaries of a hookup to the nuanced, psychologically laden agreements made within BDSM relationships. Many other aspects of ‘kink’ culture are now incorporated into ‘vanilla’ culture and perhaps surprisingly have led to a more sophisticated way of creating ‘safer space’. The negotiation of mutuality of shared sexual experience, along with other such aspects of kink culture are rapidly changing the landscape of traditional sexual exploration. Additionally, consideration of a potential partner’s emotional concerns have become a newfound priority even in more traditional sexual relationships (e.g. “sub-drop”). Thus, the evolving political and social landscape has changed the meaning of consent. Rather than a legal definition of the agreed-upon acceptable nature of a potential sexual interaction, the navigation of consent and desire between people encourages that each individual engage in personal reflection as to what is innately desirable to them. This lecture will explore the impact of such internal conversation when it is coupled with the verbal negotiation with the other and the many ways in which it impacts the nature of intimacy, eroticism, safety and sexuality.

Objectives:
-Participants will develop a sophisticated understanding of the issues of consent and mutual         negotiation as they relate to sexuality.

*   Participants will gain a nuanced understanding about the ways in which mutual recognition and negotiation impact survivors of sexual abuse.
*   Participants will learn the ways in which ‘true consent’ can be a vehicle for healing past abuse (i.e.when it is utilized to further reciprocity and benevolent interdependence) and when such attempts are likely to go awry.
*   Participants will learn to learn to understand the meaning of ‘self-state’ and how it applies to the notion of ‘consent.’
*   Participants will learn how the psychological and spiritual dimensions around desire have long-term consequences for the ways in which we are able to foster intimacy and negotiate the emotional difficulties of longing and yearning.



Burchill, J. & Markovic, D. (2018) How do People Understand their Engagement in Sado-Masochistic Sexual Activities?. Journal of Psychological Therapies 3:23-28

Eldridge, A. (2018) When Danger Is Safe: Down the Rabbit Hole with Liz. Psychoanalytic Inquiry 38:596-604

Michel, F. (2011) How to Bring Your Kids up Sadomasochist: Intimate-Partner Violence and the Twilight Phenomenon. Psychoanalysis Culture and Society 16:431-439


Saketopoulou, A. (2020) Risking sexuality beyond consent: overwhelm and traumatisms that incite. Psychoanalytic Quarterly 89:771-811

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Part of the Centene Charitable Speaker Series